yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
