She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
this hospital has no fireball
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Randomize
