If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Help. Why am I so naked?
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