bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
