lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
