Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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