I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
