well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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