He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
