She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
