WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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