I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
