Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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