We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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