the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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