The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Will exercising make me less horny?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
