I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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