was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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