the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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