this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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