no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
