Sry I called you an 8
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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