She said her name was "party"
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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