Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
