Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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