I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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