She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
It was like giving head to a cactus.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
do nipples grow back?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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