with your own penis?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize