i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
