I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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