Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
