i already hear my dad disowning me
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize