So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Randomize
