My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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