Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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