First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
