id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
