Will you blow on my dice?
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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