The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
