Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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