i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
