i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
