YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
