***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
