Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
