The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
