it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Randomize
