Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

Did you fuck her?

(212): View more from New York

If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.

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(650): View more from California

you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"

Fav 4 2999 1294
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(307): View more from Wyoming

It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face

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(970): View more from Colorado

we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake

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(207): View more from Maine

I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.

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(618): View more from Illinois

I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.

Fav 13 4415 1037
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(410): View more from Maryland

Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.

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(785): View more from Kansas

How'd your date go last night?

(913): View more from Kansas

Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.

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