I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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