I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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