She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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