Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
