From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Even my vagina gasped.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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