alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
