So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
