had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize