I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
