I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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