Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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